Why everything good in my life comes to an end?!

So Broken So Sad So Lonely...I am bleeding from inside...

BE GREEN!!!

Two days ago, some of the IIE students were having a TOT session which was very nice. One important part of it was training ourselves HOW TO LISTEN. 1 2 3 we started. My partner was a guy sitting beside me. He seemed like an "intellegent" guy. I told him you can start. He stoped for a while and then told me, "Look I am going to talk about something that really made a difference in my life", "Its being True in everything I do, say, feel and stop taking things for granted." Usually in those listening exercises we talk about so general things but it was the first time for my partner to open a topic that would stop me like that. Here it goes, he told me:

Since I was a very young kid till few years ago I took everything in my life for granted, stuff like when I ask why is that, nobody would give a convincing answer. They would simply say we are used to doing it he told me an example his mum told him since bla bla gave you a present you should give it back. He told me why on earth should I give someone something I dont really feel it, I dont feel like I wanna do that. It simply lost its meaning. We kept talking and talking till his very last sentence that echoes in my mind....." since then I learnt never to take things for granted or as "they are" but as how "True and valuable" they are"

This discussion striked alot of situations in my mind where people or even myself dont really feel what they do or what they say. It is really amazing to be a transperent and true person with all those around you and before that with YOURSELF.

Wearing different masks with people is something that could make you lose your identity.

Remember not everybody believes in that, Not evreybody is true with himself.This is the hardest part Not to lose your truth in the darkness!

Note: This picture reminds me so much with TRUTH.. That 's why I called that lesson BE Green!

FORGIVE ME!!

I know I am so much mistaken doing that but what you dont know is that I am hurt so much because I hurt you doing that. I know that you forgave me several times the 19 years I have lived on earth but believe it or not it has been all out of my hands. I never know why I do that or why I cant throw it behind. I know I made several promises that I will be the person you always wished to see me but I never fulfiled my promises. I know that I let you down several times, I even dont stop at one station but I go deeper and deeper. I just feel so miserable and lonely feeling you are disapointed and away from me because you are the reason for my existance, happiness and everything good that has ever happened to me on earth. You know, I just feel it when u go away for me, it hurts me even deeper when ur door is closed infront of me.Although u never did but I feel you telling me nanis please enough doing that. Believe me I love u so much, I just want to be with you so much. Father,I wanna stop everything that is annoying you. I tried alot ALot Alot but everytime there is something that pushes me there deeper. Help me! I beg you never give up your mercy and forgiveness. Never stop loving me.Never stop giving me chances. I will keep on trying and trying. Support me my dear jesus...

Good Night sweet father,

Nanis

Living the Truth!

Sometimes a person understands and believes a truth but he is too stubborn to live it.

I believe this was me alot of time in my life.

I believed so much that it is not worth to depend on people but I always did. As well I believed that Miracles would happen if God was your first person you go to and share with your life but I rarely did that.

Thank God, The previous period in my life made me understand this truth and now it is time to write about and share it with everyone because after living it I could tell you it IS REAL LOVE in my life. It is endless Love, it is someone that you could depend on and never let you down.It is God present in your life with all his GLory. You know God turned me from a Lonely, depressed and a weak person to someone who is very strong, loving, sparkling with hope, active and everything good you could imagine. I cant explain or describe how his love and peace could turn the heavy burdens in our hearts and lives. If you feel really you want him in your life never give up, talk to him, tell him I want you...come to my life..Dont ever feel he is not listening but you just say it from your heart. Say it out LOUD I want you. Go for him, visit him, cry out loud and ask for him in your life. A bit by bit you will feel his lovely spirit inside you.

Remember he loves you and wants you with him,

Dont ever GIVE UP!

Dear Jesus,

Our sweet, tender, loving and forgiving heart...words are never enough to explain your unbelievable love, your infinite care and sweet loving message you send to us everyday actually every moment in our lives. It is amazing the many chances you give to your kids. Your insistance that every one MUST be with you and between your arms gives warmth and faith for human beings even if we do the worest mistakes ever. You change blame and self critisizm into hope and belief for us to be better. We pray that you would always be in our lives..We pray for self peace and love.

with love,

Your Kids