Unorganized thoughts about "Memories"...

A week ago I had a discussion with a woman I really love, we simply talked about ''memories''. It touched alot of things inside me I am trying to hide inorder not to feel that hard feeling inside of me especially when some special events wont be repeated again in my life.U just feel like I miss those days, I miss those people, I miss those lovely moments BUT I no more want them in my life or they no more fit with who I am now. Sometimes tears would really fall deeply not from my eyes but from my heart when I miss an old friend especially this friend was someone so like me. They fall when u remember how someone thought you are so close to him/her and appreciated u so much one day but it all went with the wind. The loss that Happened to me the last period of my life was extremly too much that I burst but after I am now "Me", I look to the many people I lost and the many opportunities I missed, It really hurts HOWEVER it never let me down.It gives me hope to use the coming period to just regain the past again.It is like nothing is impossible. Sometimes I think why I am not taking a real step forward towards some of those old people, some answers would pop up that generally I am a person who is not good at all in keeping in touch with others but much answers that simply I could no more trust them as before. It is like I feel we lost the trust that was exchanged between us. You know, out of my modest experience I learnt that I could Build bridges of trust very quickly, time strengthens it but if those brigdes were broken, the hardest thing is to rebuild them and if they were rebuild they could never be as before. I learnt that If Someone was really special I should take care of so much not by so much calling and so much hanging out but by making him/her feel they are special to your life. Real friends are diamonds, really diamonds never break them because you will feel a real loss.

Nanis I want you from now on to remember those memories, just smile and say:
''Thank you God for giving me the chance to have some lovely memories in my life like that...and If they were hard ones thank you for giving me the chance to learn and go through a unique experience like that as well!"